Now that same sex marriage is legal... what should churches do?

From the Global Pastors Network

Now that same sex marriage is legal... what should churches do?

Timothy Curtiss, Pastor and Camp Director
Same sex marriage is now legal in Iowa. Some same sex couples have children. Some of them are seeking God. What should local churches do if one or both of the partners find God in Jesus Christ? What if they already have a relationship with Jesus and want to pursue membership? 
Any suggestions or ideas?

John Deacon, VP at Deacon Insurance Agencies Limited
Great questions! 
Same sex marriage has been legal in Canada for over 20 years. 
When the church I was going to wanted to introduce a 'Standard Marriage Policy' saying the church would only marry and welcome into church membership heterosexual couples I wrote the church board questioning that policy. 
It is too long to repeat here, but it may be something you wish to read to get one opinion on the subject. 
See http://theo-flections.blogspot.ca/2011/08/thoughts-on-gay-marriage.html

Howard Nason, Associate Pastor for missions at Northstar Church of God
John - Because its legal doesn't make biblically moral. The churches have dived over that issue, but God's Word is not divided on the subject. 
Agape, Howard 

Charles King, Management Consultant & Christian Minister
Preach and teach the Word!

John Deacon, VP at Deacon Insurance Agencies Limited
Timothy:
My direct response to your question is to welcome them should they come to your church.
If they do come, be assured they will not be coming without misgivings of their own. Regrettably many of them will have experienced ridicule and hatred from 'bible-believing' Christians, so if yours is a 'bible-believing' church, it will take much courage on their part to come in!
There are churches in both Canada and the United States who have become 'inclusive.' Probably the best known is Glide Memorial in San Francisco, which is worth exploring to get some history and perspective on how they have responded to this issue. 
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glide_Memorial_Church

Christopher Cooke, PFS, Financial Specialist

Continue to defend the gospel...

Michelle Enterline, Founder of Gospel of Peace Ministries

We has the body cannot obey the Laws of the Land if they are against His word. Just like Daniel obeyed God rather than the king of the land. We must deal with the homosexual just like we deal with any other sin. Teach and council those who participate in such a sin the biblical truth if they are willing to working on repentance then we must make a genuine effort to help them abstain from the sin. If they are willful desiring to stay in there sin then they must make a choice or find another congregation. God is very plain about not allowing Habitual sin in the camp they are to be put outside the camp for God to deal with. If they are a brand new believer then they must be allowed time and you must take each one individually. Most wont even come out if they believe it's a sin they may seek you for council and that is great. Just like many sins go hidden. habitual sin in my opinion is the most difficult to repent of. You has a pastor cannot help someone if they do not want to change or believe it is not a sin. Turn them over to God! If you really believe Gods word then your church will not marry any homosexual couple. Remember we must love not condemn We still have to account to God for the flock he has given us. Stand firm in this no matter the consequence we can not encourage sin.

Robert Dallmann, Director at ChristLife, Inc.
Matthew 5:32 - "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of FORNICATION, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." 
Fornication = Strong's G4202 - porneia - "illicit sexual intercourse - adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc. - sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18 - sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11,12" 
Seems to me... God saw this coming.

John Deacon, VP at Deacon Insurance Agencies Limited
Timothy: 
I do agree the issue is a complex one and one that requires much prayer and spiritual wrestling. I know devout Christians on both sides of this issue and in my own life I have wrestled with this issue for years. 
Christopher sums it up perfectly when he says: 'defend the gospel.' 
The question I have and have had since the mid-80's is : 'What gospel?' 
The gospel of Romans 1: 18-25 or the gospel of John 8:1-12 and John 5:24,25 and other places where Jesus' response and welcome to persons whose sexual conduct was anything but biblical. 
One of the classic examples of this is his encounter with the woman at the well in John 4. Although he points out to her that she has had many partners, he doesn't reprove her for her behaviour; if anything he validates her passion by re-directing it from men to God! 
This would explain why Christians on divided on this issue. 
Jesus never once commented on the subject of homosexuality but repeatedly took issue with greed, self-righteousness, religious arrogance and wealth accumulation. And yet what church in North America would deny entrance and membership to anyone who was either greedy, arrogant or self-righteous? Were we, our churches would be less than 1/2 the number they are currently! 
So if a church decides to welcome LGBT persons on the same basis that they welcome greedy persons - it is in the hope that the church will be the agent of their transformation and if not, at least non-discriminatory in their approach to all people as Jesus was...merciful as our Father in heaven is merciful.

Christopher Cooke, PFS, Financial Specialist
Sound perspective...

David Corbin, Senior Group Internal Auditor
In the face of the current onslaught of the homosexual agenda against marriage, some Christian leaders are softening on the historic Biblical Christian position against homosexuality. There are different degrees of compromise.
Some for example, say they oppose ‘same-sex marriage’, but support ‘civil unions’ as an alternative. Others, adopting a ‘conservative position’, support the status quo of ‘homosexual rights’ laws granted already by governments and the courts, but don’t want any new ones. Some adopt an ‘apologetic’ position implying that the Church has been too harsh on homosexuality in the past. Some have succumbed to using newly phrased homosexual terminology such as ‘homophobic’ or ‘sexual orientation’ – which imply the normality of homosexuality. Many Christians very sincerely believe they are not compromising on the Biblical position, while in fact they are actually doing so. 
Christians who write submissions, articles and position statements on ‘same-sex marriage’ should be careful not to follow other misguided leaders in compromising the true Biblical position.

Chris Thompson, Follower of Christ, Pastoral Counselor, Seeking Full-time Employment
There are many great comments on this post. I would like to add one, although it may not be considered great. I do know of many churches that will not allow a homosexual couple who chooses not to withdraw from their co-relationship to join the church as a member. As far is membership goes, I can't say that I would disagree with this policy. I would, however, make sure that my policy was standard across the board while looking at homosexuality as sin against the body the same as you would look at other habits of sin.
As an example, if a known abuser of pornography were to ask for church membership, and would stand and affirm that he or she would never give up the sin of pornography, that should stand in the same category as a homosexual couple who refuses to live by God standard, or at least try. 
In order to grow spiritually, the goal of a Christian is to become more Christlike, and doing so includes separating themselves from sin the most that they can throughout their lifetime. The goal is not to fall back on grace and mercy and say that we are always going to be forgiven so why not continue sinning. The goal is to change behaviors that separate us from Christ.
I find a very irrelevant to argue whether homosexuality is a sin or not, as that point has clearly been answered in the Scriptures. We are told to love one another, and that would include those who consider themselves homosexuals, or more clearly defined as self confused about their sexuality. Every Christian should love those who are confused, and should continue to teach the Scriptures in the doctrine at every opportunity.
Love is not tolerance, and tolerance is not love. It is possible to love everyone but not tolerate everyone's behavior. That certainly follows Christ's teaching. 
I would never be one to try and keep God's word from anyone who wanted to walk in the doors of the church. But I would expect somebody whose goal is to grow in Christ to recognize their habitual habits and make goals through prayer to separate themselves from these sins as they grow more mature as a Christ follower.

Christopher Cooke, PFS, Financial Specialist

Well said...we should not only "speak" the truth in love but demonstrate it through love, without compromising Biblical beliefs.

Les Ullrich, missionary

Without the words of our bible we are not "a faith" and it is very clear on the subject of homosexuality. Let them sit in the pews, but marriage by a church has to be out of the question. If the church has the Holy Spirit dwelling, then there has to be convictions in a lifestyle such as this. Conviction should be something left to God. Our place is to love unconditionally and focus on Jesus Christ. 
It is my opinion that if we are seeking God the way we are supposed to be, that is, pressing into Him with everything we have and are, praise, daily services for the soul purpose of bringing him close, then we can hope that God, in His way, will sort it out for those individuals in time. If we as Christians are not touching the heart of God, then we might not be as far removed from where they are at as we might think.

Taffy Torongo, Student at HTC
In short I would say we are to love the sinner, but hate the sin! 
The Old Testament folk knew homosexuality as an abomination 
before the LORD. New Testament clearly shows God is not for it; 
Romans 1:24-31. Let us not condone the sin of homosexuality...

Timothy Curtiss, Pastor and Camp Director
John Deacon , thank you for you understanding responses. To the others... how do we keep the commands of love while holding to the truth?

Solomon Simon, Life To Life Ministres at Life To Life Ministries

Same sex marriage is biblically illegal and it is against the natural law. If the same sex marriage is right then what is the need of female gender. God never done mistake in His creation. How the same sex couples got children? Are they born from their own blood by their sexual life? If any of them seeking God He must repent, confess his sin and should turn from his old life and relation. That is the real seeking of God. If he is not willing obey the word of God let him go out of the congregation of saints. If that pastor is not willing to lead the church according to the word of God and fearing the authorities of this world, let him go out of church putting of his pastor-ship. He is not faithful to God and His word and to the church of God. A true congregation/Church of God must follow God's word. He must not govern the church of God according to the worldly government laws. He fearing the world, world rulers more than God and God's word. Cast out all the same sex couple from Lord's Church. They must separated and come to the right way what's the word of God says. Other wise their they are cheating God and His saints. Be cautious on devils devises.

John Deacon, VP at Deacon Insurance Agencies Limited
Timothy: 
Reading again the issue you raise: 

'Some same sex couples have children. Some of them are seeking God. What should local churches do if one or both of the partners find God in Jesus Christ? What if they already have a relationship with Jesus and want to pursue membership? Any suggestions or ideas?' 
I get a sense - I could be wrong - the issue from your vantage point isn't whether homosexuality is wrong, since the church you attend affirms that. 
Your question is exclusive to the matter of how to receive a gay person should he or she come to your church, confess faith in Christ and want to join your community. 

You have one of three options: 

You could avoid, not allow them into your church, and most of all warn your kids not to have anything to do with them. 
Which would mean not allowing gay couples or their kids to get involved in local sports leagues, community organizations etc OR restrict your kids from organizations that allow for gays and their children - the public school system, boy scouts etc... 
It is an option that some have taken, but admittedly it's not very Christ-like. Jesus never avoided anyone, even the devil. 

The 2nd option would be to allow gays and their kids into your church, never wavering from the precept 'to love the sinner, hate the sin', a precept which never feels like love to the recipient. 
To guarantee that the influx of gays into your church didn't taint church doctrine nor compromise its definition of marriage, there would have to be frequent references to how much homosexuality displeases God, in the hope that doctrinal purity be maintained and marriage 'as God intended' promoted. 
To ensure the gay person wouldn't feel repeatedly targeted sitting in his/her pew; the preacher would have to proportionally preach on the sins Jesus took even greater issue with: greed, injustice and religious pride. That way, the homosexual would at least be consoled that he is not alone in his waywardness. He is in a church filled with sinners desperate for God's grace. 
The only problem with that option is the preacher/pastor would be so overwhelmed with the message of our variant sinfulness, there wouldn't be much room for grace or for the joy of being God's beloved despite our sinfulness. 

Which leaves your church with only the third option of welcoming gays into your church and let the ensuing relationships define what the church does with the consequent issues of membership and leadership. 

Think of how you'd approach this if the orientation was 'theological' rather than 'sexual.' For example - a group of Muslim kids affected by the good witness of your church's youth group want to join the church and bring their parents along. 
How would you as a church respond? 
My contention is - for the effect to be lasting, it wouldn't help if the pastor decided to devote the next year's sermons to bashing Muslims, Muhammed and the inferiority of their sacred text to ours. Neither would it help to avoid the differences between Islam and Christianity. Instead to convey truth with grace, mercy over judgment, love over coercion is vital. 
Otherwise, the Muslim contingent goes elsewhere, and their avenue to the gospel lost. 

For the pastor to go the 2nd mile with the Muslims in his pews, he would have to learn something of their religion to gain insight of what they stand to lose were they to become Christians. He would have to listen their stories well and discern if there are bridges already between their faith and his i.e. their humility, their concern for their neighbour's welfare - to ease their transition from Muhammed to Christ. 


So too with the LGBT community. To love them as Jesus does, you need to understand where they are coming from including listening to their life stories...especially the stories of those who have found Jesus and how they came to believe; many times in spite of the hatred and ridicule they encountered from the religious, Christian or otherwise.